Vegimite

On the gold coast of Australia, there is a casino named Jupiter’s. The cocktails are not “free.” I say free n quotation marks because Vegas cocktails have are paid for with a hidden cost. Degeneracy is a lot more expensive than any fair price. The air is fresh at Jupiter’s. Smoking is one of the seven deadly sins in Australia. Marlboro Red’s don’t have a surgeon general’s warning. Instead the country has opted for graphic pictures of charred lungs. Smoking causes gangrene, I never even knew what gangrene was until I saw a picture of it on a pack of smokes. Gangrene makes your foot look like you were walking on hot coals for three hours and then decided to stand on a blistering hot spot for a smoke break. Mouth cancer looks like the Angelina Jolie’s lips kissed a hot iron and her teeth and gums were burnt to a crisp I the process.
They have a vending machine similar to the one at jury duty. It dispenses free coffee and soda. You just need a rewards card. I think I received two free refreshing diet cokes. I probably could have earned more if I would put a penny in one of the pokies, except they don’t have pennies in Australia and I don’t play slots. The poker room is downstairs. They didn’t have Limit Hold Hold Em and spread only two tables of No Limit. I chose not to play because I suck at No Limit cash. I just went to look around, check out the ambiance and the atmosphere. The atmosphere was reminiscent of a Motel Six lobby, Australian food sucks. The only thing worth eating down under is meat pie and schnitzel. Beef isn’t corn fed, so it has that grassy gamey taste to it. I It’s the kind of beef you get a t a health food store that has all the omega 3’s 6’s9’s or whatever. Less fat equals less taste. So I had the lamb shank. It was decent but the mashed potatoes were instant and the carrots were overcooked. Our waiter had an American accent. His name was Michael. He insisted that we (there is no more we, but there was) try Vegimite. Vegimite is made from Yeast. XXXX, pronounced four X, is a brewery in Queensland. They brew yellow-pissey beer similar to Anheuser-Busch. The process includes disposing of the yeast. Some genius figured out that they can sell this used yeast to a company that would make something out of it. I say something because it can only describe it as a cross between margarine and axle grease. I don’t understand how it’s fit for human consumption.
For some reason, I have an uncanny knack for remembering names. My father still calls my Uncle Avery, Adrian. He’s been doing since I was young enough to still call him Dad, which means two things. One—It’s not genetic and two—I’m getting old. Michel lacks certain social skills. He had this look on his face that screamed my hand is in the cookie jar and I don’t want to get caught. His voice was timid, and he avoided making eye contact. Quaint, shyness often gets mistaken for creepiness. He wasn’t creepy, but creepy was close. Michael was from the United States. He loved to surf. He said the one of biggest surfing competitions is held at Coolangatta, a beach town like Huntington or Laguna Beach. Before relocating to Australia he lived with his mother in Florida. Before that, he lived with his father in Loma Linda. The best man at his father’s second marriage works at the Lincoln Memorial Shrine in Redlands.
In other words, it’s a small fucking word after all.
I went to the A.K. Smiley Library today and I know the Lincoln Memorial Shrine is somewhere around there, but I’m not exactly sure where. My extraordinary name remembering skills are humbled by my lack of sense of direction. I want to go in there and say hey I met this guy that knows you in Australia, but I don’t know who to look for. I remember Michael’s name, but I don’t remember his father’s best man’s name. I have to meet someone to remember their name. I almost don’t want to go because It’s been a mystery for a couple years now. There’s this guy I heard about in another country that works a couple miles away from me. Part of me wants to keep the mystery, but part of me wants to check out the Lincoln Memorial Shrine. I don’t know. It can’t be half as good as Great Moment with Lincoln at Disneyland right?